


190 US Proof

by ShinSolo



Category: 30 Seconds to Mars
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Drug Use, M/M, Sex, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-06
Updated: 2013-07-06
Packaged: 2017-12-17 21:07:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/871967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShinSolo/pseuds/ShinSolo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The ground teetered beneath my feet, the world blurred around me. The crowd screamed for an encore, but the lights had gone out for the last time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	190 US Proof

Nothing managed to bring me back to reality faster than the weight of a limp penis resting against the back of my thigh and the rough feel of a weeks worth of stubble nuzzled between my neck and shoulder blade.  The musty smell of sweat and sex still lingered in the air; and, the sheets were moist, stained with spilt liquor, dried cum, and various other elements that were better left unnamed.  
  
There was a slight shift in the bus when someone stepped aboard, followed by the soft inaudible purr of conversation.  Straining to make out what was being said proved useless and I caught myself wondering how the hell I had managed to once again find myself in this situation.  
  
Footsteps could be heard approaching the back of the bus.  They paused almost directly in front of the bunk I was laying in and I held my breath, silently hoping whoever it was would simply go about their business and leave me alone.  
  
The sound of a zipper, the rustling of items, and the soft click of the bathroom door rarely brought such relief.  Thank God for bunk curtains.  
  
The man draped over me stirred in his sleep, but I had no recollection of who he was or how I had meet him.  I did not even remember whose bus I was on or which city we were scheduled to play that night.  My head was still spinning from the sex, drugs, and liquor from the night before.  
  
The bus shifted yet again, and a strange silence filtered though the air.  But the very moment I assumed that whoever had been talking had left, a tired and painfully familiar voice asked a question that caused my heart to skip a beat.  
  
“Is my brother here?”  
  
There was a grunt, then a snicker, and a few seconds later the curtain that I had been hiding behind was pushed aside.  
  
The change in light momentarily blinded me, and as my sight adjusted I found myself looking up into a pair of familiar brown eyes.  
  
My brother sighed.  A hand was placed on my shoulder, fingers wrapped around my wrist.  
  
“Get up,” he said pulling me from the bunk.  “Now.”  
  
No one aside from my brother paid any attention to me as I located my clothes, and even he seemed to have been looking anywhere but at me.  But at the same time, I could not blame him.  
  
There was a sore on the corner of my mouth from chapped lips and too many unchaste kisses. My hair was tangled and matted.  I had not bathed or shaved in days, and my eye makeup was smeared over my entire face causing me to look more dead than alive.  
  
My shirt was torn to such an extent that it could no longer be worn.  My brother did not even hesitate before he pulled his own shirt over his head and tossed it at me.  He placed my hat on my head, pulled down just enough to hide my eyes, and wrapped my scarf around my neck to cover any hickeys, bites or claw marks that might still have been visible from the previous nights.  
  
“I look like shit . . .”  I muttered under my breath, but he just shook his head.  
  
“You’ve really outdone yourself this time, Jared,” he commented as he escorted me back to our bus.  “You disappeared back in Chicago – almost the second we left the stage.  It took us two fucking days to find you!  You missed sound check and we are supposed to hit the stage in under an hour, and from the looks of you, there’s no way we’re going to be ready in time.  We’ve been on this tour a little over a month now, Jared, and you’ve spent a total of four nights on our bus, and you were only sober for two of those nights.”  
  
To say that I did not feel guilty would have been a lie; however, my guilt was rooted in the fact that my brother had been the one to find me – naked and hungover in the bed of a man whom I did not even know – and because canceling the show could hinder our reputation.  As for my actual actions, I was without remorse.  
  
“This is the last thing I want to be dealing with at the moment, Shannon.  I know you’re trying to help, but – trust me – you’re not,” I snapped.  
  
My words left my mouth harsher than I had intended, but it was too late to take them back.  What was said, was said.  
  
Shannon’s eyes narrowed, his fists clenched.  And before I could comprehend the full extent of how my words had affected him, the knuckles of his right hand collided with the side of my face with enough force to more than make up for years of pent up anger and disappointment.  
  
The ground teetered beneath my feet, the world blurred around me.  And just like in the movies, all of the memories that Shannon and I had shared seemed to flash before my eyes.  
  
I heard my own childish laughter and felt Shannon’s strong hands pressing against my back as he pushed me on the tire swings in the park.  Then time surged forward and Shannon was leaning over me, his lips pressed to mine in an awkward, yet desperate kiss.  Our mother screamed.  Glass shattered.  
  
“Jared we did it!” Shannon’s voice echoed in my mind, his hands shaking as he clutched his cell phone to his chest, the representative from virgin records still on the line.  
  
Bare skin pressed against mine in the confines of a dark bunk, and Tomo’s cheeks flushed bright red as Matt casually explained what he called, “The brother’s connection.”  
  
The taste of everclear filled my mouth and burned my throat.  Arms wrapped around my waist.  Brown eyes turned away.  The crowd screamed for an encore, but the lights had gone out for the last time.  
  
And just like that, nothing else mattered.  
  
The fame, the money, the endless parties, the nameless cities, the meaningless sex – all were insignificant.  
  
The only thing I need was Shannon, and he was walking away.

**Author's Note:**

> Written 12/05/2006.


End file.
